I am the realest nigga. That's who I am.
Tomorrow, 3 long years of waiting to go back will finally come to a close. Every time I go back to visit the homeland of my family it’s an emotional, enlightening experience for me, it’s tough to explain why, it just is. I just seem to mature as a person in some inexplicable way every time I go and come. I expect nothing less this time around.
So in a few hours, it’ll be time for liftoff, see y’all in a month.
There’s a young guy (looks 25ish) who has some sort of disability living in my complex. And he had his old rusty bike stolen recently. And since his disability prevents him from being able to drive, that bike was his only mode of transportation. Day after day he kept asking people if they had seen his old black bike, and I’m also guessing he’s one of those single guys working hard just to pay off his rent. I was thinking, “poor guy, if only I was older and living by myself I could help this stranger out”. The whole situation really bothered me that whole day when I found out.
But today I found out that a bunch of neighbors anonymously contributed to buying a brand new bike for him, which meant the world to him. I was really happy when I found out, it felt like my conscience was relieved. We need more of this in our world. For me, these kind of stories are heartwarming and uplifting.
Sudden addiction for Coldplay. And this is coming from someone who has repeatedly, shamelessly made fun of them in front of coldplay-loving friends. But I can’t take it anymore, the emotion of their songs has got to me. So many feels. Can’t be a hater anymore. Time to just accept the greatness and embrace it.
Why are you such a troll?
Wow, I didn’t think I was that ugly. :( Jeez, thanks for understating it. Time to go into the fetal position and live the rest of my life under a bridge I guess…
What's your most embarrassing fear?
I’d say accidentally walking into the girl’s bathroom in a crowded public place. Like many nonsensical fears, this one arised from my childhood. When I was in preschool I walked into the girl’s bathroom and freaked the hell out when I realized, probably being scared of ‘cooties’ or some shit. Ever since then I was afraid of doing that. Nowadays of course, my reason of being afraid stems from the awkwardness and embarrassment that comes from such a situation. Especially since I’m the type of person to have serious lapses of absent-mindedness, I could see myself doing such a thing. In fact I have walked into ladies bathrooms a few times in my life, but luckily they didn’t happen around people, which would always leave me to say “phew”.
So pretty much my biggest embarrassing fear is of embarrassment itself. Or atleast embarrassment in front of the opposite sex.
Or who knows, maybe the bitches love it. ;)
There’s a few friends back from high school who actually piss the hell out of me whenever I think back about their words and actions. Sometimes it’s because of the way they converse and some of them can talk really harshly that don’t bother me in the moment but do so later when I think about it. Some of them are as jokes of course, but I can definitely differentiate between jokesters and jackasses. Others are just ignorant towards me nowadays and don’t value their friendship with me the way I’ve done for them because deep down I don’t offer enough to them (which goes to show that I was basically used before). Some look at me as inferior for whatever reason (maybe because I supposedly go to an inferior college?) and are doing so because I know for a fact that they’re just covering for their own insecurities.
All of these are just annoying traits that make me glad I don’t go to the same school as these people anymore. As loyal as I’ve been to friends, I’d love to cut ties but unfortunately I constantly feel their presence on the social networks I use so I can’t. I wish more of my college friends used twitter, tumblr, etc so it would mask that poisonous presence some of my old friends have.
Of course, the majority of you guys I enjoy spending time with and I know for a fact that you feel the same way. So yeah, cheers mates!
So today was Holi, my first Holi in college. And my oh my it was a blast. Too awesome to behold. Holi is just naturally awesome since you get to have fun, free yourself, get messy, and get intimate with friends and strangers alike when throwing color on each other. But wow, college Holi is just another world. There was a DJ, and so many different kinds of people all taking part in a festival belonging to my culture. There were people who I’ve rarely seen this semester here all together. This was a time where the Indian fobs are like the coolest people you see. With the bollywood/bhangra music playing in the background, and all the non-Indians would crowding around the fobs who were just breaking it down and doing their thing. At like several times during the three hours, we’d all just break into giant raves.
I even had to ask myself, how is this even a religious festival anymore? I don’t know, but whatever this is, we’re starting our own culture, believe it or not. Guess you could call it the rise of a counter-culture. Think about it, with the influence of diversity and the spirit of the youth, we have created something extraordinary. We’ve literally just transformed a Hindu festivity and made it into our own celebration. By “we”, I mean our generation. And you better believe it that this is just the beginning of this new culture.
So yeah besides all that, I met this girl. Kinda unrelated but it happened at Holi so thought I might as well put it out there. The way I met her was so surreal that it’s hard to explain. I could write essays on what happened in the moment. But now that I think about it, it seems a bit exaggerated, so I’m not gonna dwell too much over this any more. But I still want to say what I felt at the time so I’ll just say it in a story of what I was experiencing back there:
I was just introduced to this girl today, I’ve seen her around with some of my other friends, but never took much notice of her. So yeah, we’re just throwing paint at each other having a good time, when the DJ puts on “Balam Pichkari”, a song from the bollywood movie “Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani”. And at that moment, I looked into her eyes and WHOA…THOSE EYES…DAMN…I was speechless and paralyzed for a good 5 seconds.
Now in the movie during “Balam Pichkari”, Ranbir Kapoor’s character looks into Deepika Padukone’s character’s eyes (she is one of his best friends at this point) and he looks at her in a way that he never did before. And so yeah, the romance started and blah blah blah. But I mean, it’s no big deal, just a coincidence that I looked into this girl’s eyes during a song which featured a similar scene between the actors. But here’s the crazy part: the setting of this song’s scene is none other than…A HOLI FESTIVAL. OH [HOLI] SHIT RIGHT?
Also, the festival of Holi is supposed to symbolize the departure of winter and the coming of spring. And spring is connected to the season of love. »So many thoughts and emotions running in me at this point that it was a weird yet surreal feeling.
So yeah, after it was all over I conversed with her an all, thought we had good chemistry. She liked my humor, as everyone should. She smiled in a heart-warming way. And best of all, she was a bollywood fan, which I find really attractive for some reason. I think it’s because I would watch bollywood movies growing up, so I’m naturally inclined to be appealed to someone with bollywood interests too? IDK but I most definitely know that it’s the bollywood romcom movies to blame for me having a persona similar to that of a hopeless romantic. However, I do think that persona has faded after a couple broken dreams and hearts here and there. But lol, let’s not get into that. I wanna end this post asap.
So anyways, later I saw her embracing this other guy, which I soon enough learned was her boyfriend. Kinda bummed out, so that’s when I realized that what I just experienced (or what I thought I experienced) was just exaggerated and nothing more than a coincidence. And also I learned that I’m pathetic. Maybe I just have too high expectations on girls. Maybe I won’t find anyone that special here in college. I don’t know why it’s so rough out there on the battlefield. But whatever, it was still a good day, so good night.
I’ve been all “STUDY STUDY STUDY” for the past few days, but now that I’m done with that series of tests, it’s hard to slack off and mindlessly surf the interwebs because I’ve been on the grind for so long that I’m in desire of more work. So instead I went to the rec just so I could work on something. Not to mention I haven’t worked out since before the break lolol. And now that I’m done with that, I think I’ll get to studying for a test that I have a full week from now. I don’t know why I feel like doing such a thing, but I just want to. Cannot believe I’m feeling this way.
Hmmm, maybe this is how it should be…